21 questions for a new relationship

What are some excellent conversation-starting questions? Looking for a list of 21 Questions for a New Relationship?

Dating a new person is both exciting and makes your pulse race simultaneously. New relationships are comparable to discovering a new and unique world that resides within each individual.

But how do you formulate the correct inquiries? Or use the appropriate conversation starters to become acquainted? Because of this, you need a map to navigate this environment and determine if it is suitable for you.

How can one best get to know another person? By, you guessed it, asking insightful questions and engaging in meaningful conversations. It is crucial to ask the correct questions at the beginning of a relationship.

Deep questions will help you learn more about your new companion, while playful questions will help break the ice. Your conversation will be more engaging and delightful in any case. Asking inquiries is a two-way street that facilitates connection through conversation.

Therefore, here are 21 Questions for a New Relationship that you can ask your new partner to determine how much you share in common. It is essential to determine if you have a genuine connection and if this relationship is worth pursuing and investing more time in.

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How to Ask the Top 21 Questions for a New Relationship.

Asking insightful inquiries in a new relationship should be done discreetly. However, what kinds of questions should you pose initially? How should you phrase your question? Because that is also very important!

The Best Questions to Ask are Open-Ended.

Choose inquiries that are likely to generate more engaging conversations and anecdotes. If you must ask yes-or-no questions, however, you can always pose a follow-up question to keep the conversation going.

Avoid bombarding your partner with all 21 Questions for a New Relationship. That may be too many questions to answer in a single sitting.

Bring up questions naturally. You can play 21 questions, but you should only ask queries for which you genuinely want the answers. Avoid asking queries solely for the purpose of asking them.

Remember that the purpose of this is to have deeper conversations with your companion.

Be open-minded. Recognize the likelihood that your partner’s beliefs and worldviews will differ from your own. They may even hold diverse religious beliefs.

This is not an opportunity to judge your companion if he or she believes that pineapple belongs on pizza; rather, it’s a way to learn what those are.

Why Are These Questions Important?

Asking questions plays a pivotal role in any relationship, as it unveils your identity, experiences, and priorities. This exchange of inquiries and discoveries is crucial in the early stages of a relationship, as it enables you to understand your mutual compatibility and check if your aspirations align.

Beyond mere hobbies or interests, aligning on core values stands as a fundamental pillar of any relationship. Unlike transient preferences, such as a favorite music band or hobby, values are deeply ingrained and tend to remain consistent over time. This foundational agreement on values provides a stable base for individuals to evolve together, embracing new experiences and adapting to changes in other areas of their lives.

21 Questions for a New Relationship

1. What do you enjoy doing on a rainy day?

This query will elicit both the person’s interests and curiosity. Determine what they are passionate about.

Do they enjoy obstacles and adventures? Perhaps they devote a considerable quantity of their free time to activities that they also enjoy. Or, perhaps this will motivate them to reveal their finest talent.

2. What makes you the happiest? 

Relationships are based on the desire to make one’s partner happy, and this question will bring you closer to your objective.

3. What’s your favorite color? 

This may seem a bit trivial, but filling a container with items of a single color is an adorable gift idea!

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4. What Makes Your Weekend Ideal?

The response of your partner will reveal the type of vacation they favor. Your boyfriend or girlfriend favors a relaxing vacation if their ideal activities include sleeping, walking in the park, and reading their favorite book.

In contrast, if your companion enjoys spending time outdoors, they will describe a day filled with sports, socializing, and travel.

Compare the responses to your personal preferences. Keep in mind that you will be spending many weekends together. Do you feel at ease participating in the same activities as your boyfriend or girlfriend? It is the ideal query from the list of 21 questions for a new relationship to discover.

5. Are you close with your family? 

While some families are extremely close-knit, others are anything but. Knowing which one your companion is can be extremely useful in the future.

6. What Are You Most Afraid Of? 

This question reveals a great deal about a person. Everyone is afraid of something, and these apprehensions and worries can reveal vulnerabilities and pain points.

If your partner hesitates to share their fears with you or views everything as a joke, try to initiate the conversation. Describe a few items you fear and their causes. It will encourage your boyfriend or girlfriend to share their views and develop a deeper connection with you.

Remember to respond with caution and kindness when someone reveals their fears to you. Thus, your companion will feel secure and will not regret revealing anything.

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7. What are the three things you cannot exist without?

Chapstick is one of my favorites, and my spouse occasionally surprises me by slipping a new lip balm into my purse for me to discover. It brightens my day, and you can do the same if you know what they cannot survive without!

8. What’s your favorite movie? 

What could be more traditional than viewing a movie on a date? Pop some popcorn, get cozy, and watch both of your beloved films while cuddling. Even afterward, you could compare them for added conversation!

9. How would you spend lottery winnings?

I’m referring to the mega millions, not the additional five dollars you received from a scratch-off ticket. Knowing what a person would do with that amount of money can reveal a great deal about them.

10. What do you need to feel loved? 

Understanding your partner’s requirements is one of the most fundamental, yet indispensable, components of a relationship toolkit.

We all want to feel loved and cherished by our partners, but we all communicate this in various ways. This indicates that differences in how we express and receive affection may go unnoticed and unappreciated.

11. Where do you like to go on vacation? 

When you want to plan a vacation with them, it will be useful to know what helps them relax and where they find the most pleasure.

12. Do you believe in fate? Why or why not? 

This query may seem lighthearted and philosophical, but it can reveal a great deal about your partner’s perspective on love, relationships, and the world.

Want to learn more about your partner? Download the Paired app for additional relationship assessments, games, and advice.

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13. Do you enjoy being alone? Why or why not? 

According to a long-term study of relationships conducted by relationship expert and therapist Dr. Terri Orbuch, couples reported that space, or giving each other plenty of time for themselves, was the single most essential factor in the survival of their relationship.

14. What motivates you? 

Having the ability to determine where their vitality comes from can be a useful tool. Not only will you know what kind of person they are, but you will also be able to encourage them when they are feeling down.

15. Do you have a favorite holiday? 

Holidays can be a significant part of a relationship, and knowing which one is most significant to your partner can help to ameliorate any tension caused by unmet expectations when the occasion arrives.

16. What is your favorite childhood memory?

Observe your date’s face light up as they recall their most cherished childhood memory. How entertaining would that be to recreate it on a date?

17. Do you have a hobby? 

This query relates to the chapstick mentioned previously. If your companion enjoys grilling dinner, reading a new book on the weekends, or making their own earrings, you’ll be able to buy them new seasonings to try, a book they’ve been wanting, or jewelry-making supplies to make them extremely happy.

18. What is your favorite gift to give? 

Their response may surprise you, but it gives you a decent idea of what they would like to receive!

19. Do you know your love language? 

This is excellent! Understanding how your partner prefers to be loved will enable you to give them the attention they desire and strengthen your relationship. The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, physical contact, acts of service, and gifts, in case you were unaware. (For more information on this topic, see Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Partner.)

20. Are You Looking For Commitment?

One of the most essential questions to ask when beginning a relationship is whether or not the other person seeks commitment. It is always ideal to discover this early on in a relationship. There is no sense in investing in a relationship that you wish to advance if the other person has no intention of doing so.

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21. What are your goals for the future? 

Whether they have a comprehensive list of goals or haven’t given it much thought, this question will give you a better sense of how your new partner views life and where you may fit in.


The beginnings of relationships are both thrilling and difficult. But asking your companion questions can help you both prepare for a deeper relationship.

In the end, only by asking the right questions can you gradually uncover your new partner’s perspective on life, relationships, aspirations, and dreams.